Welcome new student to soliciting
101: The Streetwalker
In the hierarchy of prostitution, streetwalkers are
low man/woman on the totem pole.
But that’s great news for you!
If you’ve only got a couple of Jacksons to rub
together, you can still go ‘round the world! That’s
right. Forty bucks can buy you a street babe for as
long as it takes you to nut. And boy howdy can it
take awhile when you’re crammed tight in the back
seat of your own personal Ho Mobile.
But don’t take too long. Choo-Choo the pimp is
waiting for his bitch to come back with the bread.
Now finding that lady of the evening isn’t easy, so
when you do find one, you want to be prepared to
make the most of your encounter.
Rule
one: Dress for Success
It’s not just for athletes and daytime strip club
patrons anymore. Sweat pants can really come in
handy when it comes to easy access for roaming
hands. No buckles, no zippers, no muss, no fuss. As
soon as you’re ready for the deed just a flip of the
waistband and you’re in the zone. Uh oh Junior, is
that a nosey neighbor outside? A tuck and a flip and
they can just try and prove they saw your junk.
***
Rule two: The pre-flight checklist
Headlights?
Check
Turn Signals?
Check
Brake Lights?
Check
Parking Lights?
Check
Current Tabs?
Check
Why are we checking all of these things? The police
are looking for any reason to pull suspicious people
over in known prostitution areas. If you're on your
fifteenth lap around the set of blocks where the
hookers hang, in that same rusty orange piece of
crap car, you’re bound to get
noticed. Make sure they don’t have any reason to
pull you over.
Get the idea?
Check
***
Rule Three: No Accompanied Ladies
If she’s got a pimp in tow, let her go. If you see
one of these parasites latched on to a hooker, she’s
not worth the pickup. Pimps are just plain stupid
and they do stupid things. They draw unwanted law
enforcement attention and chase off other girls.
So if you see one of these semi-retarded, gold
wearing, can’t dress themselves to save their lives,
piss ant man bitches tailing a hooker, just let her
go and live to poon another day.
***
Rule Four: Avoid the Flashy Floozies
If
the girl that got your eye is in a tube top and
a micro-mini with her ass cheeks hanging out, she’s either a cop
who has watched too much Cagney&Lacey, or she’s bad news.
A flashy hooker has everybody’s attention,
especially the cops, who are just waiting for a
reason to pick her up. Watching her get into your
broken down jalopy is as good a reason as any. You’re looking
for a girl who will make eye contact and show what
she’s got without being obvious about it.
***
Rule Five: Prudent Parking Prevents Painful
Prosecution
Nothing brings the cops faster than a complaint from
a homeowner that a hooker is giving some dumb shit a
blowjob in their driveway. Find an industrial area
away from heavy traffic but not so secluded that
it’s obvious to even the dumbest cop on the force
that you are getting your rocks off.
***
Rule Six: Law Enforcement Loves Litterbugs
Litterbugs make it easy for the cops to find out
where the hookers are taking their tricks. Never
dump out your used wrapper or condom where you park,
it will eventually attract cops and you’ll lose a
good spot. Make it a habit to go to a gas station
and give your car the once over. Hookers often carry
drugs and they tend to leave their paraphernalia in
the most awkward of places. This is a good time to
get rid of any DNA evidence that you didn’t leave at
the crime scene, or in your co-conspirator.
***
Rule Seven: Never Pay Full Price
Hookers think all tricks like you are stupid, they
are correct more often than not. Always negotiate.
As long as you aren’t asking for her to tongue your
crack she’ll usually take less than what she’s
asking.
***
Rule Eight: Wrap it Before You Ride
I know where she’s been and you want as much
protection as possible. Think about the last three
or four hundred cocks she had in her mouth. Now
think about the day before. She’s had a lot of dick
spouting off in her mouth. She may have just taken a
mouthful minutes before you picked her up. Do you
really want to stick it in there without a hazmat
suit?
***
Rule Nine: Know Your Rights
If you get pulled over, keep your mouth shut. You
will probably get cited no matter what you do so why
make the job of prosecuting you any easier? Just
give them the information that you are legally
required to give and no more. The cops aren’t your
friends, you are breaking the law and they want your
ass off the street.
***
Rule Ten: Don’t Pay to Play, Play to Play
Streetwalkers and other prostitutes should be your
last resort. Think ahead and build yourself a nice
stable of booty calls. Booty Dojo is one place where
you can learn how to find women for casual
encounters, work your game, and get ideas for
profiles, initial e-mails, and more. Remember, pussy
won is much sweeter than pussy bought!
